PLDN Chapter 14
Chapter 14: Winter Vacation Part II. To Violet's Homeland. Sub-Entry 131: "Jang Wrap-Up During the Voyage to Little Tokyo Harbor" Leaving Jang with a good feeling made it easier to put my worries about the Underground asside. If I was going to help them, I'd have to be in good shape, physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally if I was going to any good. The question of whether Evil Chara would come back to the Underground had come across. While history had shown a path, nothing was written in absolutes. That insanity could wait. A different breed of it was waiting on the far east of Kaeleron. Much like the four main islands of the country on Earth it mimicked, Edoropia's geography allowed its climate to mirror Jang's with the same level of variation. Assuming Violet didn't drag us head first into too much of her own indulgeance, we'd probably find time for the same activities we enjoyed in Jang. I had graced over a lot of the things we had done during the week just so it would fit into these research logs without being to cumbersome. It seemed with the calm before the storm of arriving in Little Tokyo Harbor that I could summarize some of those events. I accessed my video logs on my holo-tablet and reviewed what I had missed that Asriel had recorded in addition to what I actually was present for. To the far north in Hyoubou, while I stayed in the ski lodge, Mitzi showed everyone else who wasn't bothered by snow and ice how it was done. ~~~ "...just like our promotional stunt way back when when I was in the Rock-Afire Explosion!" Mitzi twirled her skii poles once she had reached the bottom. "Minus the part where Rolfe hade us do so in our stage costumes." "How did not not get pneumonia?" Lulu arched an eyebrow. "We got sick...just not that sick. But at the time...most of us thought that pneumonia couldn't be much worse." "That's rough." "Not half as rough as we made sure Rolfe had it afterward." *BAAAAM* "What the...!" "Antoine? Are you okay?" Asriel was first to check on him. "See what he did there?" Violet landed her snowboard and pulled off her snowgoggles. "He french fried when he should have pizza-ed. If you french fry when you're supposed to pizza, you're gonna have a bad time." "...I can't help but get the chills whenever you put it that way, Aunt Vi. And I don't mean from the cold." ~~ Laugh it up, Sans. Laugh it up. At Namikaiyou, to the far south, the sandy beaches and oceans was just the thing for Gadget to enjoy surf and sun and lots of fun. I was all too glad to join in while Jon sat in the ice house to keep from burning up. ~~ "Yaaaay!" "I think I'm getting the hang of it." Who says you can't teach an immortal werewolf new tricks? I think I was at home on and in the water. On shore, Bunnie and Asriel practiced their crane kicks in unison on wooden posts by the docks. Though it was not the smartest idea for Antoine to show off around the fisherman's warf to prove his skill as a soldier. "Antoine I would not recommend--" Too late. Antoine yanked the rope. And he was not prepared for the hammer to come swinging his way, despite his intention to dodge it. "YAAAAAAAAH!!!!" And splash. "Admit it, Antoine. Violet put you up to that." I crossed my arms while Jon, Red, and Suzuka were howling with laughter. "C'mon. That's not polite." Gadget protested. "Easy there. Easy." Angie and Sophia helped him out of the water. "You okay?" Asriel checked to make sure he wasn't hurt. By luck he wasn't physically injured. Just his pride. "That was...pretty stupid." Bunnie lowered an eyebrow. You know I could swear I've seen this happen somewhere else... "Wax on, wax off, Ant." Violet mused with a big grin, as she and the others headed off. To add insult to...well, more insult....Sally didn't even see it until Violet showed the amateur internet video some kids shot on their phones. And yes. She couldn't contain her laughter. ~~ And yet, how could I not mention the hot springs? Probably because Violet would find a way to slip 100 anime references from Tenchi Muyou to Outlaw Star into my logs just to, in her own words, cater to a certain demographic. Honestly. Who did she think was going to read these things? But the most interesting thing of all was the visit to a remote part of town where a lone sushi restaurant stood. And wouldn't you know it? Bunnie was not only well-recognized, but apparently had done some substitute chef work at some point in her past. So imagine my surprise when the head chef invited Bunnie to take a crack at one of the hardest and riskiest of all sushi preparations--the deadly spinefish. ~~ "To the uninformed, there is a precise art to trimming it. If you so much as nick the vascular tissue, the results can be...very fatal." "Major, if you're trying to prove a point--" I was quickly ushered out of the prep are with everyone else, leaving Bunnie to work solo. Not even Megami was by her side. While its proper name escapes me at this moment, Violet joking suggested I omit it so that kids don't attempt to try this at home. I must admit that I took her seriously; moreso for the reason that I didn't want anyone in the council handing over new assassination methods to R&D for erasing...problematic anomalies in space-time. If you think this sound farfetched, you don't know the people I work for. "...b-blindfolded?!" "She barely looked at it--" "She's not gonna--" "She did." I think most of us turned pale. But Megami's brief smirk was a bit of a spoiler. "Impressive, sensei." "I got a new way to freak Al Dente out now...." Violet chuckled. "No, Vi. No." Bunnie offered us the rest she had trimmed. No sense in being rude, right? Besides. Immortality. It was the rest of my crew I was worried about. "Could someone pick Antoine off the floor?" Sally rolled her eyes as she went for seconds. ~~ What a thing to remember. "Volt? We're arriving at the port. We're here." "And....Violet's been unusually absent." Bunnie pointed out. "Oh no..." I groaned. "Well. Let's get ready. And tell Antoine to bring a crash helmet." Sub-Entry 132: "Let the Crazy Begin": By the time we sailed into the harbor, I had noticed the Solaris looked more lavish than ever. Yeah there was definitely some mechanical evolution going on here. Just what nanotechnology did you incorporate, Dr. Lynx? The odd thing was...for some reason, as gaudy as it was...it didn't stand out. "Uh, is it just me or are we not the most tastelessly showy act around here? Drew asked. "Was your first clue the ocean liner to our port side that's covered in a matrix of HD television LED panels to make the world's most obnoxious sailing video commercial?" Honey rolled her eyes. "Or the one starboard side with neon tubes wrapping its upper half and putting on a laser show?" "How rich IS this country?!" Jon's jaw dropped. "It looks like something out of Cowboy Beebop or Space Dandy." Asriel noted the floating holo displays and hovering transports and such that had to be imported from Technopolis or Mainland. "Violet informed me that it made a super massive recovery after the former prime minister stole the treasury to finance his superweapon and bankrupted the country in the aftermath of its rebuild. Her family was chiefly responsible though she never went into details on what accounted for the economy explosion." "Their exports must've been through the roof." Rotor scratched a tusk. "Speaking of Aunt Vi, you'd think she'd be top side with us. Where is she?" "No doubt getting ready for a flashy entrance." "Flashy? Among all this?" "Fair warning. The headaches are incoming sooner than you'd believe." Bunnie crossed her arms with a blank look. "Oh yeah...you've been here before. Umm...is there something we should know?" "On the up side we won't have to worry about being shunned as foreigners. That's something that Edorpia didn't adopt from Jang." Bunnie looked off to the side...as if she was saying that to comfor the blow to what was coming. "Uh...guys? I think we have a welcoming party." "Didn't we have ENOUGH unexpected battle--" "No, I mean and ACTUAL welcoming party." And sure enough a massive crowd was in attendence accompanied by a huge marching band, performers, and a lot of people holding signs welcoming Princess Violet back. "Huh. She's well-liked here. Don't know why that should suprise me." Rotor shrugged. "Because she's not so much back home?" I wrinkled my home. "Fair point." "That's not nice." Asriel scolded. "Then deny it." Silence. "Let's just disembark." I led on as the ship docked. That's when I noticed the crowd parting and the Tokugawa family limo driving up. "Right on cue--" I started before panic started going through the crowd without warning. "What the...!" That's when I saw it. A big. Frickin'. Tank. Yeah. A frickin army-issue tank charge right up the middle of where the crowd was fleeing from both sides. "Are you KIDDING ME?!" I cried out as it aimed its barrel at us. "No no no NO NO NO NO--" *BOOM* Okay so it was a warning shot that missed us by a mile. "WHAT IDIOT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!?" Willamina shrieked as we all it the deck. That was when the hatch opened up and out popped... "VIOLEEEEEEET! WELCOME HOME!" "Empress Frieda?!" Jon's jaw hit the floor. Bunnie was the only one standing, arms crossed. "It's been a while, Lady Frieda." She said rather dryly. "Violet, you better explain--" That was right about when an unknown hatch I had never seen before on the poop deck had opened up and something shot out of it like fireworks being launched. When it reached a certain altitude, it nanomechanically unfolded into something I wasn't that surprised to see. "A fighter jet?! We had a fighter jet aboard this thing?!?" Red was in disbelief. We all turned to Nikita. "She was rather insistant." The Doctor said as deadpan as possible. "We'll talk about this later--" "HIIIIIII MOOOOOOM!!!" Came the voice from its super-amplified loudspeaker bullhorns underneath! "And now the war games begin." "What war--" That was when Violet launched a retaliating missile toward the tank, off by a few yards, but definitely sending people diving for cover. What the absolute f-- "Your aim is getting sloppy dear! That's going to have to be another hour added to our training sessions!" "I missed on purpose, mom! I was just saying hello!" "Sure you did!" "And like your shot was any closer?" "Oh you!" Mitzi got up first. "Oh no...I know this old game...are they really going to do a live-fire version of Tanks and Planes?!" And the mayhem ensued, back and forth as people had evacuated to as far as the harbor would allow. And the damages racked up in record time. "We're sitting ducks out here!" "We are doom-ed! DOOM-ED! DOCTOR YOU 'AVE DOOM-ED US ALL!" Antoine grabbed Dr. Lynx by the shoulders and shook her moments before she slapped him across the face. "Everything is well in hand." The doctor muttered before the ship altered itself, wrapping in an armor type I had never seen before, complete with a transluscent defense barrier I had never seen before. "Okay. If this vacation hasn't--" That was about the moment a completely random waterskii-er cosplaying as Arthur "The Fonze" Fonzarelli soared up a ramp and over a shark that just emerged from the water. ".......Madam Fate is just screwing with us, isn't she?" I lowered an eyebrow. "This is actually a pretty tame day for Little Tokyo." Bunnie said offhandedly. "I'd hate to see what constitutes out of the ordinary." Suzuka hopped onto Dr. Lynx's shoulder, swaying her five tails. It was right about that time Lady Frieda launched out of the tank at the same time Violet ejected from the jet, moments before the Empress' tank shell blew the plane apart and Vi's missile tore the tank to shreds. Violet began a swan dive as her jet pack fired up. It was then I noticed Frieda's backpack was a stealthfully hidden jet pack, too. And the air battle commenced with Frieda drawing a rocket launcher and Violet drawing what I identified as the laser rifle form Contra. Explosions in the sky and not a single shot managed to hit either rabbit hybrid. Eventually... "How about an old favorite to bring this to a close?" Frieda pulled out the impossibly largest missile I'd ever seen and its thruster was already burning. Asside from violating the laws of physics (presuming she didn't have an E.N.G.I.N.E. dot in her pack) I was more shocked by the fact that she was holding it in place, preventing it from taking off. By all accounts its thrust should have been pulling her on the ride of her life that should by all accounts have an explosive ending. "Oh you!" Violet delighted with a grin. "You remembered!" "Better run, dear!" Frieda let go of the missile as it soared toward Violet. "Is...that a heat-seeking missile?!" Drew finally got over his shock. "Her family is COMPLETELY INSANE!!!" "You just now noticed?" I retorted. Violet serpentined and jack-knifed all over the sky, trying to shake the missile, while laughing like a loon! It was right about that time when-- "PRINCESS VIOLET!" "And the day gets worse." I watched Al Dente emerge from a beat-up second limo with the same nasty Barth-looking creep in the driver's seat that we had set Al up with a half decade ago. "I PROTEST THIS MISUSE OF YOUR TIME! YOU NEED TO RETURN TO THE PALACE AND RESUME YOUR PROPER ITINERARY!" Once again Al was more concerned with grooming Vi into a proper princess rather than her safety and well being. Or the safety and well-being of the people getting caught in the crossfire. "Shouldn't WE be doing something?!" Mitzi asked. "Just let it run it's course. We wouldn't make a difference one way or another." Bunnie shook her head. "Princess, I'm putting my foot down and giving you an ultimatum! Princess! PRINCESS!!! Don't ignore me! I swear I'm so made I could explode--" Poor choice of words, Al. "Hi Al!" Violet had skillfully swooped down and dove into a slide tackle through Al's legs and jumped back up, firing her jetpack up again into a 45 degree angle launch. Al turned around just in time for...! *BOOOOOM* I'd never seen a miniature mushroom cloud in the shape of a crying dog. A moment later Al Dente splatted to the ground, his clothes torn and burned and covered in soot and ash but otherwise alive. If anything, he looked exactly like a cartoon that had gotten the business end of a stick of dynamite. If there were any logic in Little Tokyo, he would would have been in several very wet pieces on the ground. "MAMAAAA!" Violet landed and spread her arms out and ran for Frieda as she landed and did the same. A tacklehug followed by a display of whoop-whooping which somehow ended with Frieda spinning Violet around by the ankles like an Olympic hammer-toss. As soon as Vi went flying she reversed in midair and landed gracefully before quickly returning to the Empress. All the while the whole harbor was in shambled, people were piled up in catatonic, but alive and dazed masses. Oddly enough nothing was in flames. How could such a weird place exist on our world? "Now do you see why no one wants to invade Edoropia like they did Ecotropia?" I shook my head as the Solaris returned to its former state, the shield dissipating. "With allies like Aunt Vi, who needs enemies?" Asriel rubbed the back of his head. Sub-Entry 133: "Samurai Escort, With a Side of Pepperoni": It was hard to believe that the Tokugawa family's approval ratings were as high as they were when things like this were common place. So this was the kingdom that metaphorically drank from the poisoned well. Good god. "...and how are you this day, most exalted one?" Violet greeted her father, Emperor Fred. "Fuh-reeeeeed!" Yeah...juuuuust a few IQ points missing from a double digit number as Chameleon had put it. Despite how intelligent Violet was...I just couldn't wrap my head around the gene pool. In the time it took for us to disembark, Frieda had already searched her pack for a welcome-home gift for Vi...and had the time to pull out a massive bamboo tree which Emperor Fred quickly climbed up. Wait...I know he was a panda hybrid but...really? And she still had time to pull out a fire hydrant which Al Dente...you know what? No. No. Don't use your imagination. "Er...yeah." "Princess, if you are done being jovial, could you please return to the palace. I will arrange for an escort--" "No need, Al. I've already called ahead." "You WHAT?" "But not because I want an escort. I just have...catching up to do." She said with a wink. That's when she pointed skyward and we all heard three consecutive booms like shots from a cannon. Actually...that was entirely accurate. Asriel was first to notice the white, blue, and red fireballs coming from somewhere in the city and flying toward us. As the flame dissappeared we could make out what appered to be...samurai....no...samurai cats. "You didn't, Vi." "Heyyy...aren't those...?" "Better take a step back. Vi said nonchalant as she distanced from Al. "What are you...?" "OH NO! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!" I heard the short one in white scream as he started to flail in mid air. And his partners panicked just as much. Yup. They were coming in at too steep an angle. And they were headed-- "You calculated this didn't you?" Bunnie said to Vi dryly as we took cover. *CRAAAAAASH!!!!* All three landed on Al Dente, actually blasting him through the pier and into the shallow water underneath. "Red, white, and blue make purpllllllllle! Purple Rain!" Kid the Cat drifted into existence, floating on his back through the air, elbows outward. I decided not to ask. "We better get them before they drown. I know at least one of them can't swim." And so... "Most...embarassing...entrance...ever..." The one in blue hacked and moaned as he lay face down. "The things we do for royalty." The one in white lay flat on his back. "Both of you quit your whining." The female in red managed to sit up. Violet bent over, looking straight down at the one in white. And soon his eyes bugged out. "P-P-Princess Vi!!!" "Hi, old flame. Got a hello for your favorite monarch?" He quickly scrambled to get up, falling on his rump and scooching away like he had rockets in him. "A little intimidated by little ole me? Or a guilty conscience about our little one-night stand?" "What is she talking about?!" the one in red suddenly looked pissed, showing a bit of fang. "It's not what you think, Polly! I swear!" "Heheheheh--" The one in blue chuckled before getting bashed on the top of his helmet with a cooking pot. "You find something amusing, Guido Anchovy?!" "Owww......no, ma'am." "As for you--!" "I was just teasing, Polly. Speedy was a perfect gentleman as my escort in the palace. We had such a blast on our little ghost hunt!" "Oh yeah...that." Polly looked off to the side. "Which turned out to be another of Big Cheese's plots." That soured VI's mood. "That's strike one." All three suddenly dove into a formal samurai kowtow before Violet. "Right! We forgot." "What was that all about?" Red asked. "She's talking about Seymore Cheese. The former Prime Minister. He was a liar, a thief, and a traitor. Plus he was the Yakuza boss of the Gorgonzola gang of Ninja Crows that was shaking the whole city down in an attempt to take over Edoropia." "Yakuza? You mean like the mafia?" "Actually, there were yakuza operating in Jang as well." "What?!" "But in truth real Yakuza aren't thugs and goons doing protection rackets. Don't get me wrong, they're still very much organized criminals, but they're also businessmen with a family mentality. They try to maintain a good image in spite of their activity. Some have actually volunteered to assist with relief efforts after natural disasters." Bunnie explained. "The idea is to NOT stand out and not draw attention to yourselves." "The Ninja Crows however fell outside of convention." I crossed my arms. "They were more like what you saw in the Godfather movies. They were really just a group of outsiders in a village before Seymore took over. His new gang made life miserable for Little Tokyo as they funded his illegal activity and terrorized the city with his robot creations." "Wait. Robots. You mean like out of those rubber suit shows." "Yup. I did say that Edoropia was the world's largest collection of "Jang cosplayers". Unfortunately they only adopted all the stereotypes and not the true culture." Bunnie lowered an eyebrow. "Excuse me, everyone. But I'm standing RIGHT HERE." Violet had her arms crossed and was wearing a scowl and showing a bit of angry fang. "Also...since the incident, Seymore has become a forbidden topic around Vi." "I haven't seen her hold a grudge like that since Fell's Point." Marcel had disappeared from the group for a bit, having laid low during the insanity. Josquin hovered next to him. "Yeah. It cut her to the core. When it came to hating Seymore, It was one of the things she and Al Dente both agreed on." "Someone even more hateable than Al? Mind blown." Red quipped. There was a half-cough at that moment. "Oh. Right. The escort." Violet turned to where the three samurai looked bored. Something told me they werent' the most disciplined team on the planet. "You've already met the others. And if you haven't..." Violet's mood brightened. "Vi, don't--" And then she went into what sounded to me like a narrator reciting the goofy lyrics to a theme song. "There's Speedy Cerviche, the leader of the bunch! (That's right!) A heck of a fighter who makes a heck of a lunch! And little Polly Ester--" "That's me!" The one in red pointed to herself with anime "smile" eyes. "--who's never afraid of going into battle when the bad guys invade! They're Guido Anchovy, the wild romantic rover--" Violet paused a minute while Guido was already distracted by some cute girls...and actually panting like a dog...moments before Polly grabbed him by his helmet's cat ear piece and yanking him back. Oddly he seemed to be in pain when she did. Weird. "--this cat gets down with a love hangover. Here come the Pizza Cats! They've got more fur than any turtle ever had--" "Uh, Princess if you go into our whole theme song we'll have to pay royalties to Googie Gomez again." "Oh. Right." That took me by surprise for a moment. "Was that a fourth-wall break?" I thought to myself. Okay. Honest truth...sometimes it could get a little...meta around Little Tokyo. Just like its Prime Universe version. I honestly could NOT explain how that worked. Or WHY it worked. It's not like people were watching or reading......eh...I'd better stop there. Asriel just shrugged. "Well. To the Pizza Emporium!" Violet pointed onward. "Lady Vi! We are supposed to be headed to the palace! We have no time for--" "Al. Do you remember Prisoner Island?" Vi slow turned to him with a look of impeding death. "...let's go get pizza!" Al managed to say in a squeaky voice. Oh brother. "I could go for pizza." Jon was suddenly on board. "Pizza for everyone. I'm buying!" And so our trek through the streets of Little Tokyo begain. "Couldn't we have called a cab?" Rotor complained. "And not sight-see up close and personal? Where's the fun in that?" Vi mused. For once Jon was not bothered by the long trek. His stomach was doing the talking. Ivy, Lagunov and the others said they'd catch up later if possible. I wouldn't blame them if they stayed away. This place was too much even in small doses. We soon exited the port and went through the industrial district. Nothing to see there. The commercial district was livelier. Toward the outer parts, street vender from one end of the street to the next on both sides. "Get your fresh fish and retro video tapes here!" "Huh...fish...and video tape. Interesting...combination." "I should check and see if they have Splash in." Vi mused. I facepalmed. Only she'd reference that mermaid movie just to tie them together. At that moment something fast soared past us, almost knocking Pit out of his low hover. "What was--" "Violet? Was that an ostrich in tennis shoes and a headband that just went past us?" Sally mused. "That's Yard Bird alright." "Yard Bird?" "That sounds like a 60's or 70's reference..." I muttered. I'm sure if I checked a list of old music groups, I'd find the name. "Uh-oh. Sally's got that look in her eyes." "Sally, think about this for a second." "Annnnd...one." Sally grinned, waved and was gone. "Yard Bird just asked for a CHALLEEEEEEEEEEEENGE!" Vi pumped her fist. "Twice with the same one-liner, Vi?" Vi just grinned as Kid the Cat drifted past her with his rabite, Mouse atop his head. "Somehow I think he's reveling in this environment." Gadget just giggled and waved Kid asside to pet him and the rabite. Little sister was being pretty cool about the whole thing. We did have to wait a bit after Guido tried to flirt with more girls. Then again when he and Speedy got into an argument over their mutual love interest, Lucille. Which resulted in more pots and pans to the skulls. Where was Polly getting them from. By now we had all surmised Polly had a temper bigger than Mount Kuchiyama. "You done yet?" Lulu crossed her arms, getting impatient with all the tomfoolery. "I'm starting to think agreeing to visit Violet's country was a mistake." Cid muttered as Tina tried to comfort him. "I'm right here, I can HEAR you." Violet slow turned to them both. "I'm sure things will pick up!" Asriel persuaded as we approached a large bulding with a clock on an extended section...loosely resembling a revolver shaft and barrel. In fact the roof of the building looked like it had a giant mechanical revolver cannon tucked into it compactly. "Pizza emporium-sweet-pizza-emporium." Speedy grinned with almost gloating tone. "After that ordeal, home never looked so good." "Better make up an excuse for Francine before we come strollning in." "I think she'll forget about it when she sees who all is in our company." "And she'll probably be putting us to work cooking for them, so don't get any ideas to slack off, you two." "Yes, Polly." The door opened with a jingling bell. Yup. A pizzaria. And a lot bigger on the inside than Rock-Afire Pizza. It might even put the showroom of Showbiz Pizza Place to shame. And right at the counter was a blond-haired hybrid cat in a green uniform dress. "Welcome to PIzza Cats' Emporium where your dining pleasure is beyond any measure. Just get in line and we'll serve you in record time." "Uhh..." "Does she always talk in rhyme?" Jon questioned. "All the time! It's a talent of mine that's fine as wine and twice as sublime." "Oii..." Red rolled his eyes. "Oh, you're back. Where have you three been?" Francine snapped. An enchange of looks between them and all three pointed to a very smug Princess Violet; waving and anime "smiley-eyes" grinning like a loon. "!!!" I think the floorboards actually cracked when her jaw hit the ground. "Don't stand around gawking! Get to the kitchen and put your best work ethic forth! We've got royalty in our presence!" "What's so ethical about the work we get around here?" Guido grumbled. "Our health insurrence should come with a side of bandaids and a malpractice lawyer standing by." Polly agreed. "Does everybody crack snide jokes around this country?" "It's practically a prerequisite in the job description." Speedy shrugged. So we all lined up, Violet obviously in front, and placed our orders. Violet forwarded the tab to the Royal Palace. Al Dente was going to drop a nasty when he saw what we'd collectively spend. We got seated and acquainted. "So you're in the pizza business, too." "All my life." MItzi nodded as we dug in. "Hmm. It's good. It's really good." Guido flirted...unsuccesfully. "...dude. That pick-up line expired way before the 90's. And even then it was dated." Honey didn't pull any punches. "Aw come on! I'm a cat, you're a cat! We have so much in common--" "Yeah. No." "I'm finding it hard to believe this place is real. Reality should not be like a cartoon." Marcel shook his head. "It is rather illogical how many things ignore convention. By all means, the bystanders at the docks should all have needed immediate medical attention." Angie observed. "Agreed. Perhaps Edoropians are hardier then the average Genetic Hybrid." "We tend to be." "I wonder what kind of Hybrid abilities they must have?" Gadget watched. It wasn't long before she got her answer. Polly carried out by far the most impossibly towering ice cream sundae deluxes I'd ever laid eyes on. I couldn't even imagine how much each weighed and four of them were crammed onto a single tray and balanced with only one hand. "Wow! So strong!" "So....guessing hers is super strength--" Sally suddenly stopped short when a button fell of Polly's uniform and rolled under an oven. "Oh shoot." Polly growled before lifting the entire oven up with the other hand and snagged the button with her foot. Once free, she lowered the oven, still maintaining the balance of the sundaes...somehow, knelt down, and picked the button up and put it on the tray. "How...?!" "Aha..." Bunnie's sharp eye recognized the ninja training coupled with the super strength." "Dang it. The ice machine's on the fritz again." Francine scoffed, moments before Guido snagged the glass of water, looked around to see if anyone was watching then blew a stream of air into it once he turned around and faced away from the patrons. I noticed the glass frosted up pretty quick. "Really?" Francine lowered an eyebrow as he handed the ice water back. "I know. I'm just cool as ice." "Dating yourself again, Vanilla Ice? Stale one-liners aren't going to add bonuses to your paycheck." And I was noticing Speedy bussing the tables and zipping from table to table as a blur. Okay. Super speed. And finally I noticed the cash register futzing out, its display flickering off. I wonder when they maintenanced their equpment last? "Clear!" Francine rubbed her palms together with a zap of static before slapping them on each side of the machine which came back online immediately after some glitches and a spray of sparks. "Weren't you guys wearing armor earlier?" Red seemed intrigued, having returned Null to his punk guitar form. I noticed the support unit hadn't been saying much for a long time. Maybe Vi rolled his A.I. back too far? "Uh...I uh...!" "Dudes. Don't try to pull the Clark Kent on us. They're from the outside world. They're not idiots, you know." Violet crossed her arms. "I mean I'VE known for ages." "So...pizzaria busboys and pizza makers by day, samurai...also by day?" Asriel mused. "Don't spread it around." "Don't know why we'd have to. I meant is it really that big a secret?" "Not much of one." Red smirked. "You don't even take off the helmets and nothing exactly covers yoru faces. I mean, you'd have to have an I.Q. of minus seventy to fall for those disguises--" "...and you're order's up." "You guys have it easy making pizzas all day. Did you hear the Samurai Pizza Cats are out and about escorting Princess Violet around town." The random customer said, looking right at Speedy. "Oh yeah. That sounds rough." Speedy replied, rather coy. "Well. Time to dig in." "Thanks for your patronage!" "........" Red deadpanned. "Callin' it. Everyone in this town is either insane, dumb as mud, or both." Marcel mused. "Again. This is why aggressors like Natural Selection stay far away from here." Bunnie reminded. "Just roll with the plotholes." Polly quipped. "Plot..ho...!" I started. Great. Another self-aware moment that tapped on the fourth wall. "Most everyone around here is also named after some kind of reference or pun, to boot." Vi said off handedly. "Oh. You mean like I. Beam, Crow Magnon, Jerry Attrick, Bucky Rogers, and Ruby Spears just to name a few?" Francine mentioned. Mental note to self. Keep Papyrus away from here. "...right." Sub-Entry 134: "Little Tokyo Palace. Meeting the Family...Again": So after that bit of verbal slapstick and whimsy, we were en route to Little Tokyo Palace. "Is it absolutely necessary we head to the heart of this crazy kingdom?" I though I heard Cid mutter. By now opinion was pretty mixed about Violet's home. Bunnie was used to it, having conducted her first diplomatic mission in Edoropia; having met Violet for the first time then. Red seeemed supportive. Sally and Team Acorn seemed to like it. Asriel and Pit were enjoying their time here. Gadget and MItzi were pretty sold. Jon was easily bought after gorging himself at the Pizza Emporium. And really...I didn't think it was too bad. On the other side of the equation, Dr. Lynx was far from amused and had remained quiet all this time. Rotor wasn't really into it. I had a feeling he wouldn't be letting Skeeter hang around here. Speaking of which, his little brother was left back home to mind the family business. I guess Rotor had enough faith in his teenage brother to be responsible. Considering his track record, I thought it was a leap of faith. Cid, whle subtle (most of the time), was obviously not enjoying himself. Lulu was a bit irate about the earlier war games. Which left everyone else pretty neutral about the whole thing. I could tell Ivy was being objective and was keeping Lagunov on the fence as well. I had a feeling he'd be leaning toward disliking the place. What little of Kid the Cat and Mouse and Vidian we saw we couldn't really get an assessment of what they thought about Edoropia. But likes and dislikes asside, we were going to the palace, Pizza Cat escort included. No sooner had we exited the Pizzaria, we passed by a hybrid pug dog mother and son. "Mamma, is it Mardi Gras already? It looks like the freak show has come early this year." "Compared to the usual guests we have around here, they're actually pretty normal, Junior." "Just as long as they're not congressmen." "Even our show should know better than to scrap the bottom of the barrel just for tourism's sake." What a strange pair. And probably the most meta characters I'd laid ears on yet. Sometimes this part of our world had TOO much in common with Prime Universe Little Tokyo...and that was a scary thought. "Al Dente must have family in town." I joked to Bunnie. "Hardly. They're not even the right species. If anything they look more like tanuuki." Bunnie rubbed her chin. "Really? I didn't know tanuuki were so uh...homely." I cringed. "I don't know. We've already had a dose of the king and queen of crazy town. Are we really going to have to have a day or two of Violet's family?" Jon asked. "Does seem like a bit too much crazy for one vacation." Marcel agreed. "Look at it this way. Al had his room refurbished since you were here last. Hint, hint..." Vi grinned. If that wasn't an inviation to commit grand larceny while turning a blind eye to it, I don't know what was. Vi sure knew how to speak Marcel's language. A thief and a necromancer. I'm glad he was on our side. "We can always raid the fridge without regrets. I heard the royal kitchen has its own meat locker and butcher kiosk." Red showed a toothy grin. "Prime rib is sounding pretty inviting right about now." Who's to say who can speak whose language? Well played, Red Stokes. You won Jon over. "I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and hae a supply of aspirin on hand. Aspirin isn't outlawed out here, is it?" Lulu questioned. "Edorpia and Jang share similarities. But they do differ greatly in many aspects, including law and order." Bunnie assured. "Fair enough." Even as far away from the palace as we were back at the port, we could see the whole thing from where we were. I gotta say...sometimes size does matter. The Rabbotou Clan's Shiba Temple was woefully outclassed, I hated to say. I know I asked it a hundred times before...but just how rich WAS Violet and her country? The closer we got to it, the more it became impossibly large. Violet's family line knew how to make money. I'd never seen a healthier economy than Little Tokyo. For all its personality quirks and the fact that life in this place was like Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass combined...this place was doing alright. I think that was when we all really started taking notice of the people and places. Sure we had a good view of it while en route to the pizza palor; but with things like Sally racing Yard Bird? Yeah. Ain't nobody got time for that. ...oh, crap. Did I really go there? Jeeze. Edoropia's meme-worthiness is contagious. "You know a lot of people are wearing kimonos and attire out of ancient Jangese era...but...somehow modernized? "In a way...some of what I'm seeing almost looks like Feudal era yukatas and kimonos reenvisioned as lightweight robotic armor." So Willie wasn't the only one who noticed that. It was eeriely similar to prime universe Little Tokyo. Only the people here were genetic hybrids, not animal robots. Yeah...that was an explanation for another day. Come to think of it-- "I haven't seen any other races than Edoropian hybrids. No humans, no viera, no beastmen or ab-humans--" "If anything those of us who aren't hybrid stand out far more than in Jang. But nobody's batting an eye around us. Weird." "Seems like Edoropia has adopted a lot more western philosophy and mannerisms than I we thought." Bunnie mused. "Yet, like Jang its population is an almost perfect homogeny." "But there were humans back in Jang." "True." An interesting discussion. Despite how whimsical this land came across, it was still possible to seriously analyze it without making a joke, pun, or pop culture reference. Speedy, Guido, and Polly had their hands full keeping Violet amused in front of our little enterage. At some point we had to stop, specically for peach ice cream. I think Violet was hassling them over an inside joke from the last time the cats had to serve as her escort. Speedy mentioned something about being turned into the world's largest and farthest-travelling yo-yo just for that very reason. I don't think I want clarification. If what he was saying was true, then Polly was probably not the only one with super strength. Lady Frieda was certainly not your average monarch. After a lengthy travel, we finally reached the gates where the guards stepped asside upon seeing Violet. "They know their place." Vi mused. I could tell she was kidding, but to someone who didn't know Vi like we did, it would sound pompous if not arrogant. Bunnie assured us she wasn't like that any more after years and years of working with her to get her to change for the better. "Too many memories of home." Sally lowered an eyebrow. "Thank gods I left my royal heratage in the past." "Blasphemy." Violet retorted. Sally just rolled her eyes. "Given the huge headstart we have, and the fact that Al Dente is being chauffered by a doppleganger of Barth from You Can't Do That on Television, we got a good few hours before he catches up with us and ruins the fun." Violet lead on down the long stretch of path through the courtyard and such into the actual palace itself. It didn't take long to see that the palace was a maze of corridors; and several floors of them at that. If it wasn't for Violet leading us, we'd be hopelessly lost before we reached the royal chambers. And there sitting upon the oversized pillow on a slightly raised platform was our favorite inept figurehead, Fred Tokugawa. "We come bearing the gift of our awesome presence, oh exalted one!" Violet gave a sassy bow. She was being litehearted, but I could tell there was still love and respect there. "Fuh-reeeeed!" Yeah. I wasn't expecting much of a conversationlist. "Welcome home, honey-bunny!" To his left on a lower platform, Frieda stood in place. Not much of a kow-tow-er, I see. Oh well. When you're married to the richest guy in Little Tokyo, what's it matter? Vi ran over and tackle-hugged her. "I have a present for you, dearest!" "You do? For me?" Violet's eyes sparkled, opening up wider. Then suddenly she narrowed them and uttered in a low voice. "Fork it over." "What the...!" Mitzi's jaw about dropped. "Oh you!" Frieda one-arm hugged her daughter and noogied her which prompted laughter. Anime sweatdrops all around the surrounding royal council, all kneeling on each side of the red carpet leading up to the royal family's er...thrones...or lack thereof. "I kinda expected you all to have fancy thrones in a place like this." Red blurted out. "Are you nuts? Do you have any idea what a throne does to your lower back? We'd have to pay a fortune in chiropractor bills." Violet said, sticking her tongue out at the end. Why did that feel like that joke was oddly yet perfectly timed. And why did I almost expect a laugh track? Frieda of course handed over the wrapped box which Vi tore into without second thought or word. Inside was a huge ball of jade. "I promise this one isn't the power source to an evil robot." "Niiiiice." Violet said, taking out a jewler's magnifyer and studying it closely. "..." I pointed my finger upward and opened my mouth to speak...then I let my finger droop and lower, not closing my jaw. Didn't I do this once before? Shrugs and weird looks exchanged between us all around. "Hi ya, Bun-Bun!" Frieda waved in our direction. "Konichiwa, Frieda-kougou." I can only assume that translated, to "empress". "Oh you're such a formal dear. You can call me Frieda!" "If that is your wish." "Oh, let me tell you, Sally. This one's a real stick-in-the mud for formality, isn't she?" "You know it!" Sally clicked her tongue and gave double "finger-gun" points. "See? Now she knows how it's done!" Frieda chuckled. "Now this is a kinda of royalty I could get used to." Sally mused. We all of course got re-accuainted. Not to mention treated to some pampering and such in the royal spa and such before being issued bathhouse robes and shower sandals while our attire was cleaned, pressed and whatnot. The royal staff also saw to our personal belongings while we were staying as guests at the palace. Some of us were in a hurry to get our normal clothes back on. Others of us embraced the laid back and low-key. Of course we'd eventually get to see Violet's room. "HOLY--" I began. "SCHNIKEES!" Asriel finished. "I know...I really wanted a bigger one but, what can you do with so much space." "So...much...space..." Sally's jaw was practically on the floor. Bunnie crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. She'd seen it before. "There are FOOTBALL FIELDS smaller than this." Red exclaimed, not really complaining but not really complimenting either. Borderline. Yeah. That was about the size of it. "Why am I wasting time ripping off Al Dente when--" "Because Al Dente won't exile you to where Seymore's skeleton is chained up." Violet cut in a liiiiittle too calmly and sweetly. "...point taken." "And I thougth the futon in my quarters at Shiba Temple was big." Lupe gasped. "This is...beyond overindulgeance!" "Thanks!" Only Violet would completely ignore that it wasn't meant to be a compliment. Violet wasn't kidding about her computer set up. Anyone who has three monitors rigged to her rig was a serious multitasker. FOr that matter, her rig was something else, as well. Liquid-cooled and lit up with more neon tubes and displays than I'd ever seen in a computer tower. "I'm hoping to upgrade to a laser-coolant system. But for now, this will have to do." "...have to DO?!" Rotor was dumbfounded. "There are military computers that don't have this much processing power and speed." "Yeah. Sucks to be them." Vi cackled. "Uh..." Asriel actually had to look up to see to the top of Violet's stereo system. "I know, right?" "..." Asriel just remained speechless. The more we looked over Vi's room, the more obvious her excess became. Only she could live a lifestyle this loaded without regrets. "So isn't anybody going to tell me I'm something else." "I think you did it for us." Asriel spoke up. "What makes her think any of us were going to?" Lulu whispered to Cid who just shook his head. Poor little rich girl indeed. No wonder she was starved for friendships when she first came to Miranda. But boy did she have a warped way of making friends. While we got situatuated, Marcel snuck away to pay Al Dente's room another visit. It was five years in the making and he was about to outdo himself. Several hours later when it got to be dinner time, Al Dente FINALLY reached the palace gates. And boy oh boy did he have a mouthful, which Frieda promptly tuned out and none of it registered with Fred. Of course Violet had a punishment waiting for him, regarding...certain infrigements that had gone unsaid since we left Fontraile a week ago. Inevitably... "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" Right on cue. "So. How fast did you get them sold at the pawn shops and online?" Marcel flashed a stack of Zenny while Al was running up and down the hallways. "Nice." "Pleasure doing business with you, Violet." "Pleasure letting you give Al Dente the business. The business of kicking his financial a**! And let me tell you...business is booming. We're open for business. Hope he's buyin'." Violet mused. "You both are terrible." Bunnie deadpanned. "On the other hand I'll have some good video to show Chameleon when we get home!" Violet snagged the tape out of Asriel's camcorder. "Asriel!" I scolded. "I didn't know she'd be filming Al Dente. I give you my solemn oath!" "I believe you..." I finally said, dejected. Of course it was not like I was objecting to Al being mistreated. I was objecting to Asriel playing an unwitting part in it. As the night wound down, Violet insisted we get a good night's rest. For the rest of the week would have us...in her own words...partying until we puke. Sub-Entry 135: "Celebration Overdrive. Party Until You Pass Out": "...so. Your first rock concert, Azzy?" "Yeah. I've been warned that i'll be extremely loud." "Yes. Loud. Noisy. Crowded. And too many things to list that are red flags in the field guide of good parenting." "Oi. So...why are we going again?" We all turned to Violet. "Question withrawn." I wasn't that surprised to see that the ampitheater was actualy on palace grounds. This palace seemed like it was getting bigger and bigger all the time. "Just promise us there won't be a reunion of the Pointless Sisters." I heard Speedy mutter. "The...what?" "You mean the Pointer Sisters, right?" "Nope. Pointless Sisters." Polly corrected....then she crowned Speed on the top of the head with her knuckles. Despite wearing a helmet, Speedy looked like he REALLY felt that one...well, that and the fact that he almost face-planted. "I still think you should have called yourselves 'Lovely Mipple'." Violet mused. "Lovely Mipple?!" Rotor looked flabberghasted. "What the Hell kind of name is that?" Red agreed. "Don't let her explain. It'll probably be headache inducing and probably lewd." "You sure it's not like a weird fusion of "Pururin and Omitsu"? Asriel suggested. An awkward moment of dead silence. "It was just a suggestion." "Where did you even come up with that, goat son?" I shook my head. "Maybe you need to cut down on Violet's anime sessions." We headed entered the ampitheater. I was surprised that a lot of people from outside the palace were in attendence. Based on the ticket admissions, anyone could come to two assumptions: either the city economy was that bad that they had to charge admission for concerts just to balance the budget and keep the treasury afloat... ...or the economy was just that good and everyone had extra cash to throw into the pot. I suppose I could ask how the proceeds were going to be divided up. It wasn't unreasonable that this was a charity shoutout for some cause or benefit. But the more I thought about the money flow, the less I wanted to think about it. Edoropia obviously knew what it was doing. Questioning the how, why, how much, where, when and who would only bring about migraines. "Hey...these bands they put on us...are they anything like in that anime movie, Aunt Vi?" Violet grinned. "What anime movie?" Lulu asked dubiously. "There's a ninety percent chance she means Macross Plus." "Violet, seriously. We're not going to a Sharon Apple concert, are we?" Violet grinned wider. "Okay...how much did you spend to code a working A.I. pop idol just to do random concerts in tribute to your anime obsessions?" And this was where curiosity still compelled despite how much I didn't really want to know the answers to my previous questions about Edoropia's big business, money flows, and paper trails. "Come on, Commander. You should know by now, we don't do anything illegal in Edoropia. That's why Seymore was ousted." "I know...it's just that we all get wary of your expensive ventures." "Just enjoy the show." Of course we were treated to a spot-on cover soundtrack of said Sharon Apple music. I think Asriel was most invested in "Information High" out of all of the tracks. The holographic vocaloid certainly wasn't Sharon Apple. But I was also relieved that it wasn't that Hatsune Miko either. I'm sure whatever the case, it would mean Violet paying out additional royalties to whatever she had already paid just for this much. I had to admit it was a weird pseudo virtual reality experience. "You're not going to turn the whole ampitheater into a giant walking mech are you, Vi?" Honey teased. "As much as I'd like to...no. Giant mechs and turning things into them was banned as a result of Big Cheese's countless robot attacks on the city." "Then...what about M.E.G.A.S. XLR?" Asriel questioned. "Some rules can be bent...for out-of-town friends." "Goddammit, Vi." I rubbed my temples. I wasn't sure if it was the deafening music or her tomfoolery that was testing the limits of my brain but if it kept up my skull would probably split in half. All in all...it wasn't that bad of a concert and it made a killing at the ticket booth from what I can tell. And the crowd turnout was impressive. Judging from out the emotion sensor bands worked, I'd say everyone in attendence left with an emotional high. THe fact that it was an early morning concert make it conviniently-timed well enough for us to head to the next stop on Violet's mega party... The Royal Amusement Park. Honestly...I knew the Palace was large, but I didn't actually expect it to be large enough to house and entire theme park for the Royal Family. I was expecting it to be on a remote island or somewhere in the upper part of the city. But no. Violet's lavishness continued to get bigger. "Has it really been five years since I was at an amusement park last?" Asriel looked on. "Feeling like it's kid stuff?" "Chara would probably say so...that is if she were my age, now...but...I'm not Chara." "That's the spirit." "Roller coasters first?" Sally and Team Acorn pointed a thumb to the largest one. Despite being compact, a lot of attractions and amusement was crammed into one impressive amusement part within the walls of the Palace. I still wonder how they did it. "If I can admire one thing that Edoropia got right when adopting Jang's culture, it's efficient architecture." Bunnie noted. *slurp* Jon slugged away on an over-sized Slushee in between his bites of giant funnel cake. "You really should be mindful of what you eat and drink before you get on the rides, Mr. Talbain." Sophia warned. "I'm not cleaning up after you if you decide to go on the Crazy Dance ride." Rotor crossed his arms. "Really, Vi? The Crazy Dance from Problem Child 2?" Somehow I was less surprised than I must've come across. "What can I say? Authenticity counts." "Is that why there's a Marty Moose from National Lampoon's Summer Vacation out front?" Honey prodded. "This whole amusement park is a conglomeration of different movie, TV, video game, and anime references. Isn't it?" I asked. "Guilty as charged. Well. You going to stand around and complain? Or you gonna get your fun on?" Violet grabbed Bunnie and headed toward the Viking Fury pendulum boat ride. And so we all broke up into separate factions. Vidian proved to be an unstoppable force of nature in the Lazer Tag area. A shadow-bender had a painfully unfair advantage in a place that was mostly dark with sparce neon lighting. Somehow I knew Red would be bringing his kids here some day. But that didn't stop him from tackling the most extreme of the extreme rides. Team Acorn and Asriel of course picked the fastest ones. Pit seemed to be most at home with the rides that got the most altitude. Ones like the Drop Zone and the Zephyr. The kitsunes stuck around with Kid the Cat, doing anything and everything. The VARS sisters stuck the the video arcade and the midway games. I was sure I caught Ivy and Lagunov on the Ferris Wheel. I kept it sensible on the tame stuff and the carosel... "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!" Okay MOSTLY tame stuff. I still had a place in my heart for the generic version of the spinning Witch's Cauldron rides. What can I say? As a kid I must've worn out that old Sit-and-Spin toy I had. Which in turn built up a huge tolerance to centrifugal force. Which meant I could spin and spin and spin without reprucussions. ...unfortunately Jon wouldn't speak to me for several hours when I convinced him to tag along. Rotor did warn him, after all. Which left Antoine to be abandoned in the kiddy corner and petting zoo. Which SOMEHOW still overwhelmed him to the point of passing out. "Good lord, Antoine." Sally grumbled. Outside the park, the Pizza Cats stood by. "Oh man. That looks like so much fun. Why do we get the boring job of playing escort and rent-a-cop?" Guido complained. "Yeah, really. It's just so unfair!" "Quiet, you two. We're on the clock so don't you forget it. We're samurai, understand?" "Yes, Polly." "Yes, Polly." An awkward silence. "..." "So--" "Auuuuugh! I wanna go on the tunnel of love!" Polly suddenly cried out, practically in tears. "Now, now. Samurai duty first." Guido taunted. *BOOOONK* "Wrong thing to say, Anchovy." Speedy deadpaned, arms crossed. "Rub it in, why don't you." Guido rubbed the top of his helmet where a giant bump with criss-crossing bandaids on it had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Okay, this was definitely an anime thing. I kinda expected Violet to keep this whole thing going until night so she could launch fireworks, like they did at those other theme parks. But even fun times can be on a schedule. Which led to our next big party endevour.... Virtual Reality. Yeah. Violet had it in spades. The more Violet was showing off to us, the less surprised I was getting. "You didn't build another supercalculator out here, did you? "Nah. I only need one. And besides, LYOKO is a tool for important analysis, right?" "Right...one that puts Asriel and company in the middle of the world's more powerful video game." "Eheheheheh...don't question the methods of my diagnostic suite." "Come on, everyone. We've hassled Aunt Vi enough. Let's just have some fun!" Asriel geared up and lowered his visor. "This is AWESOME!" He cried out as he took to the game like a fish to water. THe rest of us kinda shrugged and spread out in Violet's V.R. Suite. "Everyone ready? Ready Pl--" "Don't say it, Vi." I shook my head as my avatar materialized. "Come on! You know I gotta!" "Just because you saw the movie doesn't mean you get to make a refernece, Vi." "Okay, okay. If it'll lower your blood pressure, boss." "Thank you." I turned to check on Asriel-- "READY PLAYER ONE!" Violet suddenly called out. "..." For the record, if this weren't just an avatar body, I would have facepalmed hard enough to cause a welt. Speaking of which, where did Asriel get off to? I mean he only logged in a split second or two after I did-- Suddenly I was pushed back by somehting landing with a seismic shockwave. "What the--!" "Hey, best friend!" "Asriel?" I blinked. "Your avatars a little default-ish, Volt. Show some imagination!" Asriel had modded his form to be quite the superhero. "Nice." I heard Vi's voice though I didn't see her avatar form. "Naruto's boots, Goku's gi, Luffy's straw hat, Inuyasha's Tetsusaiga, and Ichigo's Zangetsu with Superman's cape and Batman's utility belt and Ryu's headband. I couldn't have put together a better composite outfit, Goat Son." "You're a bad influence, Vi!" I called out. "More like a RAD influence." I heard her voice behind me. "......just wow." I crossed my arms. "Compensating for something?" Violet had put ont a good 3 or four feet, making her even taller and bustier than Lady Frieda. "Chun-Li with crystal-clear spaghetti-strap, ice-pick gladiator sandals that light up with matching neon colors? Really?" "Your humility is...inspiring." Bunnie said dryly. "Nice, sensei." Bunnie's avatar was actually fairly humble and sensible. Appropriate gear for proper combat scenarios. "Diggin' the barefoot Haybusa action, Buns. Ninja Ryukenden all the way!" "I knew I should have selected the tabi option." Bunnie crossed her arms. "So...um...sensei? Yay or nay?" Asriel posed with an oversized sword over each shoulder. "Well, I can't say I approve but I can't say I'm disappointed, either. You be what you want, my student." "Any sign of the others?" I asked. "Probably on different servers." "So now that we're here, what can we do in this virtual environment?" "What can't we do? I programmed everything in here to the last kilobyte." Violet winked. Suffice to say, Violet had more than plenty of scenarios, character models, music, and sound effects "borrowed" from all over the last 40 years worth of pop culture in addition to what she was "inspired by" after seeing a certain movie about a digital "Oasis". I just knew we'd be having a talk back in Miranda City over what props she "liberated" from the film sets... For now, every possible twist on every possible game was at our disposal. And we gamed until we couldn't stay away any longer. But as we figured, Violet had one final means of celebration to close out the night. Even though her birthday, Fourth of July, and Tanabata were a few months away...leave it to Vi to clear things with City Council to set off the mother of all fireworks shows...at least until said three days of July which she'd feel the need to one-up herself repeatedy. "...it wasn't that bad of of a day." Bunnie mused. "You're just saying that because you're not so tired you can't actually move." Jon moaned. "And your ears aren't ringing." Cid followed up as Tina rubbed his shoulders. "I had fun." Asriel smiled. "It was a hoot, Vi." Sally shared in a sis-fist knuckle bump. Now I understood why Bunnie was always exhausted when she and Violet flew back home during the first week of July, during Violet's homecoming visits on her big birthday celebration bashes that led up to Tanabata on July 7th, as I mentioned earlier. "Well if you guys REALLY have to head to bed..." Violet yanked on the rope in the ceiling. "JENKINS!!!" She called out before a tall, English-accented elk of a butler zipped up to her in a flash. "Myyeess, Miss Tokugawa." "Show my guests to their rooms." "Right away, Miss Tokugawa." Asriel blinked. "I never knew you had a butler, Vi." Asriel cocked his head. "Don't be ridiculous, Vi. I have a whole staff of them. And several maids, several gardners, a chauffer for each of the palace limos, a small staff of gardners, etc, etc." "Yikes. Excessive doesn't even describe half of it." "Well, night everyone who's packing it in." Violet headed off. "Where you going, Aunt Vi?" "To enjoy the night life til' I crash out. Peace, m'b****es!" Dammit, Vi. We followed the servants to our quarters and called it a night. As expected, our rooms were ridiculously big, luxious, and overdone with conviniences. Oh well. At least they were very comfy beds. Sub-Entry 136: "To Lucille's Tea Shop/Why Did No One Put the Bomb Squad on Speed Dial?" We were deep in the week and it was exhausting keeping up with Vi. Thank goodness we were keeping it low key, going to to a tea shop. So why did I get the feeling Bunnie knew something we didn't? I know I'd crossed paths with the answer five years ago, but it's just not coming to me. Just what were we in for? And why were Speedy and Guido insistant on coming along while Polly and Francine minded the pizzaria? "So her name is Lucille?" "Lucille Lambert. Owner and proprieter of a cozy tea shop and one of my first friends. Still super-jealous that Speedy and Guido still have eyes for her." "So that talk about your first date with Speedy--" "Just a fling. I was an 18-year-old burnout humoring Al Dente's insistence on a structured education afrer my cousin went off to college. As my earliest mentor, he taught me everything in the Hacker's Little Black Book of Forbidden Code and then some. If I would have only insisted to have things my way back then, I would have been completely self-taught back then." "Yeah...but Speedy?" "I guess I have to concede defeat. And probably apologize for beaning him with a pair of binoculars back then because I was having a hissy fit." "The pre-Bunnie era must've been wild." Sally mused, smugly. "Must've been. After the incident I remember something about a baseball game and puppy love for all-star, Fernando Curtainzuela. Of course it was there at the game I also discovered my next person to crush on." "Oh gods...Violet, you've had absolutely terrible love life, haven't you?" Vi shrugged with a "meh" that said she could care less. Asriel turned to me. "This doesn't reassure me about a future dating life. Maybe bachelorhood is the way to go." "Don't write it off too soon, Azzy. I fell for Elektra and I was at least as nervous and reluctant as you are now." Jon dismissed goat son's worries. Speedy and Guido had gotten into kind of an angry cheek-to-cheek shoving race ahead of us; each had hopes of getting to Lucille first. There were no lines to read between here. It was just painfully obvious they had the hots for the same girl. Personally, with all the girls Guido flirted with, half of me wanted him to yield to his co-worker. I'd seen too many self-proclaimed romantics get into a competion with another guy just because it was in their nature to get the girl...any girl. But then again, Speedy had his faults as well. I was beginning to notice how easily distracted he was from work by such things as reading the sport section. Frankly I could care less if his favorite team won or not. Work hours were for work hours. And frankly, I was under the impression this Lucille could be the biggest distraction of them all. Then again...I also got a jealous vibe from Polly. Did she...have unspoken feelings for Speedy? And yet, I wasn't about to rule out that Guido had flirted with Polly in the past. Too many love triangles. Too much to read into. Thank goodness Lisa and I never had that problem. Same with Jon and Elektra. Drama-llamas belonged in soap operas. And frankly there wasn't enough body wash to go around this whirlwind of a washing machine they called Little Tokyo. ...okay, now this place is starting to make me come up with awful metaphors. As if the puns and meta moments weren't enough. As it turned out, Lucille's tea shop was a bit out of the way and smaller and more quaint than I was expecting. Considering how larger than life most everything else was in this city, I didn't really know what I was expecting. Lucille Lambert turned out to be quite soft-spoken. Black-haired, white furred, curled horns. It was hard to tell if she was a hybrid sheep or goat or what. Either way, Asriel took a liking to her. I think something about her reminded him of Toriel. "Oh! So many friends! This is such a suprise!" While we were occupied with introductions, Speedy and Guido tussled to try to get to Lucille first; going so far as to try to dig up random patches of flower and try to bribe with a pizza order that she never actually placed. Of course the person to greet her first was none other than Princess Vi. "Oh! I'm sorry, but have we met?" Lucille cocked her head. "Violet, I thought you said you two were friends." Willie put her hands on her hips. "Oh I see what's going on...one second." Violet mused as she reached into her kimono and pulled out an obnoxious pair of glasses and put them on. "Oh! It's you! It's been so long, my friend! How have you been?" "Eh, you know." "By the way...where did your friend go?" "You can't be serious...!" Mitzi looked flabbergasted. "Suddenly things make a lot more sense." I muttered. "She seems nice." Gadget beamed. No offense to little sister but bubble-heads of a feather flock together. Oh boy. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" Lucille asked cheefully. And introductions were soon in order. While we got seated at multiple tables, Lucille took each of our orders. Ah. Various teas of various types--both hot and cold. And onigiri riceballs to go with. Nice. Relaxing. All was missing was my saxophone and some sheet music for some smooth jazz and this would be a pefect cool-down to an otherwise hyperdriven week. While conversations commensed, Bunnie was watching the two pizza delivery cats escalate their rivalry. "Hmm. I don't think this is a good combination to have in close proximity to Lucille-chan." She narrowed her eyes. "What's the problem, sensei?" "I seem to recall it being said in the past that Lucille has kind of a dangerous personality quirk." "Huh? But she seems so sweet and harmless." "A girl can still take overkill steps to protect herself." Bunnie narrowed her eyes as though she was speaking from experience. While that was going on, the rest of us were conversing; reminising over stories. Both our own and Lucille's experiences during the time Seymore Cheese was Prime Minister. All the while Speedyand Guido's jealousy and competition grew angrier and uglier. "Uh...guys?" Honey was first to point it out. That's when Lucille noticed her guests were getting rambunctious...wait a minute...ram-bunctious? Ugh. That's a pun Azzy would jump right on. Ahem. As the arguement between Speedy and Guido accelerated to cat-a-strophic warfare that even included uprooting a tree and using it for a baseball bat (And I thought Polly was the one with super strength? Maybe it was their armor enhancing them?), Lucille was getting more and more upset. With insults being traded back in forth consisting of left-wing accusations of "Neo-Facism" against right-wing retalliatory remarks of "pinkos" I wasn't the only one getting sick of political slurs. "STOP TALKING POLITICS!" At that moment Violet pulled out an umbrella and opened it holding it over her and Bunnie's heads. "Now would be a good time to activate Gem Envelope." She said calmly. Bunnie didn't question. She just cybermorphed an arm, tossed in a D-Chip, and activated it. A force barrier made of of tiny but incredibly hard rainbow-colored gemstones in an elegantly cut diamond-shaped envelope wrapped around Bunnie and Violet, shielding them both from damage. "What the absolute f--" Was all Red got out before he saw Lucille's hair actually open up a hidden panel. Panels on her kimono uniform's shoulders opened up as well. And then we all saw them--missiles and rockets. An entire salvo of them launched into the air and started raining down on mostly Speedy and Guido but a few of us got caught in the crossfire, too. "WHOAAAAAH!" "This isn't happening! This isn't happening!" Cid ran for cover. "This woman is crazy and DANGEROUS!" "Did someone set off fireworks?" Gadget had an airheaded moment. "Look out!" I pushed her out of the way and put up a magnetic barrier. The blast still somehow drove me into the ground in a spherical crater. Gadget on the other hand was completely spared. "Hey. Don't push me, big brother. That's just not nice." I would have moaned if I thought it could be heard over the noise. Sally and Team Acorn zipped around ground zero, doding each blast, seconds before they would have been also cratered. Ivy hit the ground with a growl and a wash of static over her wings. Asriel had already taken to the sky to outrun a few of the heat-seakers on the NX Switchboard. "WAAAAAAAH!" Lucille wailed as the last of the barrage launched. Explosions everywhere. Yeah. This was bad. This was very bad. This was so not fun. When things settled and the smoke cleared many of us managed to get to cover or defend ourselves. Others were plastered into walls and dropped onto street lamps and such. Kid floated past, each missile missed him by a mile. "Today is just blown up with people!" "Ugh.." I shook off the stupid as my barrier collapsed. I climbed back out of the crater to see the damage all around the area. "Nice." I said as sarcastically as possible. While we were all in varying levels of dazed, confused, and catatonic...miraculously none of us were seriously injured...mostly. But we could all agree on one thing. Speedy and Guido got by far the worst of it. Both flat on their backs in the largest crater of them all, blackened with soot and armor parts busted up. "I hope you two learned a lesson." Violet casually blew on her fingertips like it was all old hat. Then she collapsed the umbrella. "Suddenly I can believe that she'd be friends with Vi." I muttered while Jon peeled himself off of the werewolf-shaped impression in the wall of the building he was slammed into. No broken bones. No permanent injuries. No blood and no missing teeth. Yeah...I'd call that the Devil's Luck. But was it really? In all the time we'd been in Edoropia, I had yet to see a casualty of chaos like this. "I'm sorry. But when I get emotional, I just blow my top." Lucille apologized. "Well, I could exile these two to Prisoner Island, but where's the fun in that?" Violet mused. "How about I make you both go on a mandatory date with me?" She grinned with the same "I'll kill you" look I saw from Kitty when her briefcase snapped shut. "We're good!" Both said in unison as they scooted away, backwards on their butts, looking like they just sat on spikey cacti. "Don't worry. I'll get the the city's own E.R.R.O.R. team in on this. Though I might have to turn to the out-of-country Pizza Cats to do it." "There are OTHER Pizza Cats?" Pit asked. "You haven't met The Sundance Kid, Deedee, and Cosmo yet." Violet mused. "They're on a different continent. "Not Fontraille...right?" I raised an eyebrow. "Welllll, I'm not saying it is...but I'm not saying that it's not..." Vi was obviously messing with us. After waiting around for the outside help to get here...impossibly fast mind you... "I'm guessing travel by cannon is a pretty universal thing among your franchises?" Red mused, recalling how his own Null Armor used to be deployed before Violet started with the upgrades and the tech she obviously ripped off of Tony Stark. "The only way to fly." Speedy had gotten cleaned up in record time. Guido was still primping behind the scenes. "I guess I should expect no less from a hygene fanatic." Violet chuckled. "Uh...could you please not flirt with me, Princess? It's really making me uncomfortable." "Who messes with you when I'm not in the country?" Violet booped his snoot. "Better get back to Polly before she bends you into a pretzil, loverboy." Speedy moaned as he headed off to grab Guido and slink back to the Pizza Emporium. "Have a good time now!" Lucille waved, clueless as ever. The rest of us hung around Lucille's for a bit longer. Just to clear the air and try to get off on the right foot after those two furballs stepped on more than a few toes. However, not all of us stuck around. It wasn't long before that would cease being unnoticed... Sub-Entry 137: "Remnants of the Yakuza. Saved by a Former Ninja Crow?": "...this is probably bad timing but...has anyone seen where Antoine disappeared to?" Asriel was first to point it out. "If he's smart, he'll stay away from the slum districts." A short pause. Without a word, a small group of us headed to the slum districts. Savage burn. "We really don't have much faith in calamity coyote, do we?" I crossed my arms. "For our own good, we should leave our thoughts unsaid." Bunnie said with dry deadpan. "Still better than Al Dente." "Agreed." "Seconded." "Vi, I'm a bit confused. Why are they blatently operating like this out in public. Asside from going completely against the code of bushidou and ignoring every concept of ninja." "Are they really that awful?" Pit asked. "Where do I begin with what rules they've broken? Ninja NEVER reveal themselves out in the open. Especially not in public to civilians. They think they're returning to ninja origins as assassins, but there is no honor or gain to be here in a stable economy. They are merely being thugs, following a thug mentality and owing loyalty to a master who has abandoned them in all aspects of life, even from his own mortal coil. The list of major and minor infractions goes on endlessly." It was the most I'd ever heard Bunnie rant about something. Yeah...I have a feeling Bunnette would be even less forgiving. Meanwhile at one of said irregular districts, Antoine had decided to work up the nerve to prove he was brave enough to explore this land on his own. Maybe it was to redeem himself after he had made a fool of himself back in Jang more than a couple times. Although I still wanted to fault Violet for shoving him into the fray with the wooden servators in Bunnie's temple grounds. 'After you, lunch meat', indeed. "I am 'sink-eeng zees was not 'zuch a good idea, if I am being honest to myself...." Antoine clutched his fist over his heart while cover said fist with his other hand as he shuffled about in a stance that looked a lot like Alphys' nervous pose. It was a miracle he wasn't tripping over his own two feet-- *THUD* ...nevermind. "This eez ze' ter-ee-blay! I am not know-eeng which way eez back to whence I am com-eeng from!" "Hey. Buddy." "Oui? You are addressing, me, no?" "I am addressing you, yes. You look a bit lost. You know this is a bad neighborhood." A crow hybrid. The way his attire was covering him up was...suspicious to say the least. "You know...a person could get killed out here. You never know what kind of underground miscreants are waiting to make a Zenny or two off of an unsuspecting sucker." "Eh-heh...I should be heeding your advice. I am to be headed back to whence I came, yes?" Antoine backed away but quickly bumped into someone standing directly behind him. As soon as he whirled around. "Pardon, pardon, monsieur! You should be watching where I am not going, no?" A devlish laugh. Antoine tried turning in another direction but soon found himself cut off. And again, and he quickly realized he was surrounded and the gang was growing in numbers by the minute." "I am not 'av-eeng zee good feel-eeng about zis!" "The longer it takes for you to part with your valuables and money, the less good you're going to feel...buddy." That was definitely a sword being unsheathed. "Uh...careful! You are to be put-eeng someone's eye out, no?" Make that a LOT of swords being unsheathed. And a lot of window shutters being closed all around the run-down buildings. "I will be mak-eeng your day? Do not pass go? I am...zee under age, no?" It was not looking good for him. As for us... We eventually split up in our search to find Antoine, Violet coordinating us throughout the districts. Would we hit pay dirt before Antoine followed the same fate as Rock-Afire Explosion's Rolfe De Wolfe? My team was first on the scene and we cleared a path through until we could get to Antoine. At first it looked like we could snatch and grab and be out of there before the thugs knew what was up. But then four more cut off our escape route. And unlike the foot soldiers that were crow-ded...heh...crowded around us...these guys looked like they had a few more brain cells. Yakuza bosses? Very yes. "We're the bosses of this Yakuza turf. The name's Bad Max but I prefer Crow Magnon." Another pun. Between the eye patch and the apparent reference to Mad Max, I could just smell the Fury Roads jokes Violet would have standing by once she actually got here. Those axes of his were no joking matter. The big one in blue answered to Cannonball Batterly. As a saxophonist I easily recognized his name being a pun on jazz saxophonist, Julian 'Cannonball' Adderley. This guy had a high-pitched voice and was probably a few pins short of a sewing kit. I heard him muttering something about whether hair color dye would work on feathers. The one in red answered to Mojo Rojo. Hello copyright claim from Townsville, courtessey certain turban-wearing monkey supervillain. He didn't say much and had very little to define his character. And lastly, the one in green answered to Ronnie Geissmuller. Asside from the pun on the actor that played Tarzan in the 1940's, I had no idea what this guy's deal was. One thing I could tell...their intentions were no joking matter. They meant business. Granted we were armed and could probably take the four of them. But the numbers game was starting to look bleaker and bleaker. As if that wasn't bad enough... "I guess we're doing this--!" "Uh, everyone?" Pit pointed toward even more ninja crows coming appearing suddenly. "Great. More ninja crows. If we weren't already outnumbered before, now it's just gotten ridiculously unfair." "No. Look at their emblems. They're different. The ones we are fighting have the character 下 or shita--the word for "under" as in underground. These other ones are wearing the character 上 or jou for over or upper. As in overwatch or--" Bunnie's sharp eye caught the details. "Up with Justice!" A scratchy but commanding voice called forth as the newer crows parted and someone made their way forward. "A komasu monk?" Bunnie raised any eyebrow. "A what?" Marcel looked dubious. "I got the word "monk". Lulu noted. "Does something in that word explain why he's wearing a weird basket on his head and playing a flute?" "It's...complicated. Another explanation for another time." "I challenge your bosses for the coyote's life. Do you accept my terms." Crow Magnon and the Rude Noise chuckled loudly. "You're making a big mistake if you think you can challenge the authority of Little Tokyo's yakuza." "Yakuza? Please. This is nothing more than a gang of street hoods. Don't think I'm ignorant to how far you've fallen since Big Cheese was ousted." "Hmm? You act like you know us. Who are you?" "Why don't we battle and I'll SHOW you who I am." Asriel looked to me. "The guy's got guts." And the clashes between swords got intense as the battle went underway. It did seem like the other three were thinking the same thing. "You weren't thinking of trying to give your boss an unfair advantage?" My Corona Buster's barrel pressed up against the beak of one of them, as he raised his weapons to hit from behind. "Maybe you'd like worthier opponents" Asriel's NX Sabre crossed in front of another's neckline. He had gotten better at bluffing. Or maybe his opponent was that gullible and cowardly. "I have a friend of mine who'd love to show you what a REAL bird can do." "Awaiting orders to eliminate enemy, pilot Red Stokes." Null finally spoke. "Let's not turn him into a meat bag just yet...of course if he INSISTS..." No one could intimidate like the Bringer of the Red Mist. .........okay so it was Violet's nickname for him. "Now. Do you yield?" "You dolts! Bring out the big guns!" Magnon commanded as the other three flocked to his position and activated something. "Treachery!" Bunnie growled. "Stay back. I've got this." The stranger watched as a giant crow mech made up of multiple independent modules--each serving as a cockpit assembled and threatened its bunker-buster weapons at him. "Okay, this might be the craziest thing we've seen yet in town." "I see you've upgraded since Seymore left you with that obsolete scrap pile. You realize even then it was nothing without the Sunblocker Sixteen, cutting off the Samurai Pizza Cats' solar power." "What? How could you KNOW about that?! Who are you?" "You wanted to know who I am? THIS is who I am!" Suddenly the komasu...er...head-basket...helmet thing split down the middle and separated, revealing the stranger's face and attached to a newly forming dark green armor. The two halves become giant pauldrons as the other parts of outfit detached from underneath his monk robes and become other parts of the armor. "...you! You're!" "Bad Bird?!" Speedy's group had caught up to us. "I was going by Good Bird after our little team-up against the comet, but people were making fun of it. So...until I come up with a new name, I guess I'm the Ninja Formerly Known as Bad Bird. Y'know until I can get a symbol like Prince." "Oh boy..." Ivy shook her head. "I know I've been asking if this is for real all week, but...is this for real?" Marcel asked. "Just go with it." Bunnie replied as Asriel shrugged, extinguishing his NX Sabres. "You're going to come at me with the Armor of Wark? I thought it was trashed when the Pizza Cats combined all their attacks on you back then. And what is that tiny little suit of shogun armor going to do against this?" "Maybe you'd like to find out." "Well if you're gonna come at me, bro. COME AT ME, BRO!" "I ain't your bro! Speedy, if you wouldn't mind. For old time sake?" "I like how you think!" Speedy suddenly drew his magical Ginsu Sword, unlatching the bottom of the sheath and drawing a second blade. As Speedy clashed his twin blades together in a blast of sparks and building flame, T.A.F.K.A.B.B.....actually, that's cumbersome, just call him Bad-Like-Michael-Jackson Bird for now......jeeze, Edoropia's ridiculousness is contagious! Ahem...B.L.M.J. Bird was amassing swirling fires into his own blade at the same time. Speedy drew his blades outward like tracing parenthesis from bottom to top until both blades were raised high. I noticed the yellow energy contrails formed a sort of cat's eye. Guido and Polly arrived at that moment with their groups. "Oh great. He's already got the Cat's Eye Slash charged." "He's gonna have bragging rights again." "At least he has to show it with Formerly-Bad Bird." And with that Speedy slashed both blades, sending the crescents forth as Bad Bird slashed his blade, sending forth a firey red phoenix of flame. Both shots hit home and the entire monstrosity exploded, scattering robot parts and for some reason...speed boat propellers. The four Rude Noise Crows went flying off in every direction, trailing feathers. "Huh. And to think that used to happen to me all the time." Bird stowed his blades. "PIzza Cats and Ninja Crows triumph!" "TA-DAAAAAH!" A moment of awkward silence among us. "...a lee-tle 'elp down 'ere S'il vous plaît? Mes amies?" Antoine remained face down in the mud. "So." "Yeah." Suddenly Bad Bird was tackehugged from behind. "I finally found you, my old flame!" "GAAAAAAAAAH!" Bad Bird freaked out and flailed, trying to escape. "Did you miss me?" Violet said with a disturbingly cocky grin. "Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go." We all groaned. We were seeing where this was going. "Good grief. Another of Violet's bad date victims." "No kiss?" "I'd rather have my beak snapped off and used for a glass cutter! Squaaaaaaaaaawk!" "Awww. And after we hit it off so well last time." "I have a girlfriend, for crying out loud!" "Suit yourself." Vi let him go, causing him to dive and faceplant, skidding a bit. "Besides, I wouldn't really do that to Carla Robinson. I may be a bit playful but I'm no hussy." Violet walked away with a chuckle. "C'mon, you guys. Time is wasting and I'm sure Speedy and the others want to introduce you to Guru Lou." The rest of the "Upper" ninja crows squared things away. Once Not-So-Bad Bird composed himself he made sure the riff-raffs understood full well this territory was under their protection now. As Bunnie explained, it was a real disgrace when a yakuza clan had to give up territory. One thing was the same as Jang Yakuza--territory was everything. Hard to acquire. Even harder to hold onto. "We can expect 100 percent less shake-downs and crime waves in this part of town now. They're nothing without Seymore Cheese and Jerry Attrick to organize them." Violet assured. It was weird that Violet was the brains here in our AU version of Little Tokyo. While Prime Universe Little Tokyo, Al Dente was the Pizza Cat's contact (and a far more decent guy) while Violet was a spoiled 18-year-old with the combined temperment of Angelica from Rugrats and Tron Bonne from Mega Man Legends. We bid goodbye to our new allies and headed off. ...once Asriel stopped to help Antoine out of the mud. Sub-Entry 138: "Mount Kuchiyama is Still Home to the Crankiest Tech Hermit": THe trek to the top of Mount Kuchiyama was what I expected of it. What I couldn't figure out was the reason why we were going there. According to Speedy, Guido, and Polly, were were going to see the wise scientist sage who gave them their mightiest trump card in the battle against Seymore's evil organization; specifically his giant robot superweapons he attacked the city with. I wasn't against the idea of meeting a fellow scientist. But I was dubious. Given the crazy nature of Vi's people, I could only imagine what an aging hermit engineer was like. I mean, logically...there was a reason he was all alone up here. Past had experience tended to mean eccentric hermits did NOT want visitors just dropping in; they tended to live alone because they wanted to get AWAY from people. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Speedy?" "What's not good about it? Guru Lou has been our ace in the whole when it comes to Pizza Cat tech support. Why wouldn't he want a visit from his best--" "Charity cases?" Guido cut in with sarcasm. "I was going to say his fans, but that works." Speedy said with a sweat drop. "Better warm up your card skills, Polly. I'm not crazy about having to suffer the clothspin punishment again." Guido rolled his eyes. "It's in the bag." Polly shrugged it off. "Besides, we still have plan B, right?" "What's plan B?" Asriel asked. "We beg him until he breaks down and lets us in the house." "Uuuuugh..." "That does not reassure me." After the Lucille incident, most of us had decided to stay behind. I think Cid's patience had worn thin and Marcel had already robbed Al Dente blind. Even thieves had a limit before it just got sad. But at least he'd have plenty of Zenny to convert into Mirandian gold when we got back. One thing about mountain climbing...not all of us were geared for it. Jon was already panting as we followed the trail. "This wouldn't happen if you added some cardio to your weight-lifting." Bunnie scolded, actually having to slow her pace to try to get him up to speed. "Don't start with me." Rotor was behind him. "Too hot...where's a rest stop when you need on..." And as if it needed to be said... "I am doom-ed DOOM-ED! Zis' mountain will be my Waterloo! I am...bread wheat!" "You mead dead meat, Antoine." Rotor grumbled. If anything Speed was outdistancing us. At least until Sally got into a race with him for a bit. It was then we got to see just how Speedy got his name. One thing I could tell for sure, was that his Prime Universe counterpart didn't have super speed Hybrid Ability. This was a thing exclusive to our world. Guido's Prime Universe version was cool but not ice-cool like our world's version. And Francine's electrical abilities? That was something prime universe Francine Manx didn't have. I was told even Bad-Bird-No-More (really needed to get him a new name) had power over typhoons, like real tengu--the so-called raven ninja of lore. Oddly enough...Polly's hybrid ability was something her Prime Universe counterpart had, too. I wonder if Guru Lou had Hybrid powers? I was betting on...no. The trek up the mountain was long and seemed like it was getting longer. Finally we came to a log cabin...and piles and piles of firewood stacked up next to it. "Huh. He still hasn't used up all that wood I chopped while I was going through enlightenment." Speedy scratched his head...helmet. Another story for another time, probably. I couldn't escape the nagging feeling that we'd live to regret meeting this guy. And an even more nagging feeling that he really didn't want visitors intruding upon his property. "Don't be ridiculous, Doc. He'll be tickled pink to meet us. I mean, who could resist these handsome faces." Guido said with a flirting wink. "Trust me, he'll welcome us inside with open arms--" "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FREELOADING PESTS!" Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. So this was Guru Lou. Very heavy set. Elderly. Coke bottle frame glasses. Despite being a cat hybrid, it was those hippo teeth of his that made me cringe. But perhaps it was his ugly, balding haircut that really copleted the image of the hermit stereotype. Everything about him just looked like a bad stereotype. Cranky. Fiery-tempered. Unsympathetic... *SLAP* ...and now I could add lecherous to the list. For crying out loud. Mitzi growled as Lou rubbed his hand. I sniffed around a bit. "That smell on him is definitely not an over-indulgence of monosodium glutimate..." I folded my ears back. Now I was adding 'drunk' to the growing list. "Oh please, wise Guru Lou! We've only come here to show our gratituted for supporting us through our ongoing duty as samurai!" Speedy and the others kowtowed. "Baloney! I know you're just here to weasel another super robot out of me! Do you think giant mecha gestalts just grow on trees?!" "Not at all, Guru Lou! Little Tokyo is at peace! We haven't needed a giant robot in a long time now! We--" Polly started. "Are just here to leech off my scientific services! Why can't you get it through your skulls I'm not a non-profit organization! Research costs money and time!" "But what about the code of bushidou and all that jazz?" Guido protested. "Let's not dirty the water with religion..." Guru Lou looked off to the side. Okay so I wasn't the only scientist perplexed by religion. But wait a minute, wasn't bushidou more of a philosophy and life discipline......darn it, Volt, get back on topic. "And if that weren't bad enough you've brought a whole gaggle of freeloaders..." He continued his rant. "...some more easier on the eyes than others..." *SMACK* "Eww! Hands to yourself, you scrungus!" Honey snapped. Remember when it was no more complicated than a non-binary child innocently flirting with a goat monster over the phone, Volt? Bunnie finally stepped forward and slapped a deck of cards on the lab table. "...oh so it's like that?" Guru Lou suddenly had an amused grin. The kind of grin that should probably be drawing red flags. "Wait, Bunnie. I should handle this." Polly started. Bunnie smirked. "I'm wise to your tricks now, Polly. Besides...I could use some fresh competition. BUt I have to warn you...the punishment for losing is...severe." Guru Lou's glasses somehow seemed to gain a bright glare, blocking his eyes. I'd seen this happen with Alphys when she was possessed by Chara-Wraith. Bunnie made a come-at-me-bro gesture with her hand. The cards were dealt. "Easiest game I'll ever play..." Guru Lou mused. One hour later. "GAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Guru Lou whined as Bunnie stepped back, the last of the clothes pins firmly snapped onto his face. "Chihuahua! I didn't think you could fit that many onto him! How many games is that?!" Speedy exclaimed. "I counted 52." Mitzi replied. "Fifty-two straight losses. I had no idea you were that good of a card player, Bunnie." Marcel slowly turned to her. "Which is why I warn you not to invite me to take part in gambling." Bunnie looked upon the Royal Flush she had managed. Each card had a different member of the Tokugawa family. Wow. Just wow, Bunnie. "Okay...I give..." Guru Lou whined. A bit of clothespin removal later... "Ahem. You've bested your mentor and have proven yourself worthy of my infinite wisdom." "Oh teach us well, your Guru-ship!" Speedy was practically drooling at the mouth. "Come on...are the three of them really that gullible?" Rotor complained. Violet just slow smirked. "...this does not reassure me." Rotor shook his head. "Man, this has been one crazy day." Red was rather amused. As we listened in, Guru Lou spouted off some fortune cookie advise. No doubt about it. He was a fraud. Violet later explained that he took credit for the creation of the "Supreme Catatonic" super robot that was once our three Samurais' secret weapon against the Big Cheese and his robotic menances. This country was seeming to be more and more like an anime than ever now. "Thank you, Mr. Guru Lou for letting us be your guests." Gadget gave him a little smooch on the cheek. "Gawww..." Okay. Little sister was naive and a little too forgiving. But what can you do? That was her best strength. Still...if Lou laid a finger on my sweet, innocent little sister, I'd have him in the slammer faster than you could say 'Holy underage, Batman!'. "Heh." Bunnie smirked. After a lengthy day of stories and the Pizza Cats feeding Guru Lou's inflated ego, we were soon on our way. But not before Speedy insisted on doing more chores to earn our keep as his guest. Unfortunately he overdid it and before he knew it, Guru Lou's cabin was soon buried under way too much firewood...to the point that it eventually collapsed under the weight. Suffice to say...his screams of anger were audible from the bottom of the mountain. "Ohhh! Does it sound like thunder?" Gadget scratched he head. "Oh brother..." Mitzi shook her head. "Here's to never seeing THAT guy again..." Honey smoldered. "That guy needs a restraining order put on him more than Al Dente does." Willie agreed. Suddenly I understood why he lived alone. It was for his own good...and ever girl's. Yup. I'd seen others like him. Master Roshi. Happosai. And now THIS guy. What stunned me is how completely devoted the Pizza Cats were to this dude. "Man...did you see that guy's hairdo? That was just wrong." Red wrinkled his nose. "It...wasn't that bad..." Speedy looked up and to the right, kind of nervously. "Yeah...I mean...who are we to judge?" Guido rubbed the back of his head. "..........you have the exact same haircuts underneath those helmets, don't you?" Red deadpanned. "Eh..." Both of them were sweating like Al Dente at a disco with the record turned up to 78 RPM and the room temperature turned up to 108 degrees fahrenheit. Violet's words, not mine. I'll have to chastise her for editing my logs when we get back to town. "The samurai lifestyle certain has some aspects that outright suck." Jon shook his head. "Please tell me, Polly's haircut is normal underneath her helmet." Honey piped up. "Honey! That's not polite." Asriel scolded. Speedy blushed and kinda twiddled his thumbs. "Really. That cute, huh?" Honey got up close. Willie grabbed her by the ear tip. "Ow, ow, ow." "Not cool, partner." "You all know I'm standing right here. I CAN HEAR YOU!" Polly snarled, showing a lot of angry fang. "If we're done hassling them?" Asriel protested. "Let's just head back to the palace and get some shuteye. So we did. Sub-Entry 139: "Wrapping up Vacation": Crazy as it sounded, I was going to miss this place. "All things considering...it wasn't that bad." Cid conceded. "Better than having to put up with assisting Aurelis in the Alchemy Lab?" Red couldn't resist a jab. "Stop. Talking." Your land is strange and onorthodox. But it was a good experience, nontheless." Bunnie patted her shoulder. "Yeah. We totally rock." Violet said, heart not really into it. "Vi..." "Bunnie. You understand, right?" Violet's tone was suddenly somber. "Hey, who started pooping on your party. You've been awesome this whole trip--" Red started before Bunnie stopped him. "No. This is something Violet has to do for peace of mind. And I urge you tro try to keep an open one. There are some wounds that just won't heal." We were taking a private boat out to an uncharted island. "Honestly, I thought you'd be taking us to this Prisoner Island after you've referenced it so many times." "No. Prisoner Island was too good a place of exile for him..." I was starting to follow where this was going. I looked to Bunnie. We soon reached the smallest of islands with a single palm tree on it. Honestly, this was the kind of lone island you saw in cartoons where two castaways would start hallucinating that each was giant-sized food and engage in loony antics to devour the other. But what we saw chained to the tree immediately killed any form of humor that there was. It was scary how the mood had darked as Violet made her way onto the sand and walked right up to the skeleton. There were tatters of a lavish kimono drapped on it and scraps on the ground. Rumor was that Seymore Cheese was an infamous crossdresser. Judging from the female kimono and the semblance of jewelry and accessories...it looked like the rumors were true. It wasn't that he was open about his orientation...it was that he forced it on a lot of people who didn't swing that way, according to Vi. I couldn't speak for the rest of the group. The more we saw, the less we wanted to know. All we knew for sure was that Seymore was an incredibly terrible person in life. Far, far, far worse than Al Dente. And more than that...he was a liar and a traitor. One who endangered the lives of every person in the city just to get revenge for being ousted over crimes that were his own doing. Crimes he had no remorse for. Violet stood over the bones for some time, not saying anything. Then suddenly, without warning she cleared her throat and spat it up onto the bones. "Whoah." Red almost took a step back. "That's some bonafide hate right there." I wanted to say 'could you blame her'? But what was the point? Violet turned on her heel and headed back onto the boat. "We're done here." "Vi?" "I'll...be alright." I saw a tear roll down her face. The lone semblence of proof that dragged her country into a very dark spot in its history. Out of sight. Out of mind. "We'll head back to the palace and square things away there. We'll be heading to the Solaris later in the day. I'll have our stuff transported, first class." "Yeah...thanks, Vi." Mitzi said, kind of bewildered. "Analysis shows that Violet's stress levels are abnormally high." Sophia observed. "Yeah. Yeah, they would be." I rarely heard Bunnie use the word 'yeah'. She understood. "Aunt Vi? I'm going to hug you now. If that's okay." Those same words. Asriel had spoken them to Master Splinter once upon a time. "Sure, Cinnamon Roll. Whatever...floats your boat." A snicker. "Shouldn't I be the one trying to make you laugh, Aunt Vi?" "Don't push it, kid." She said with a lop-sided smirk. "Gotcha." A long hug. "So...aren't you going to lecture me about holding onto hate? That forgiveness is divine." "But never pay full price for late pizza, Aunt Vi. Yeah. I get it. But don't worry about it. I'm not naive. As much as I would like to tell you that, there are some things that are off limits. Even from friends and family. They go so deep that you don't want anyone to feel and understand that pain. You know that sharing that pain is for the best, but...you have to walk your own path, right?" "You mind summarizing the cowboy speech, kid?" "How about this. You had to get even with Seymore Cheese back then. It was a moral imperative." I know it was bad advice...but it was just the thing to motivate Violet. "That's a good point, Azzy." Violet turned to Bunnie. "I can count on you not to lecture me about disrespeting the dead?" "You're bordering on lecturing yourself. But yes, Vi. I hear you loud and clear. Work out what you need to on your own terms. We're just bystanders." The Big Cheese. That's what he called himself in life. From pictures of him, Bunnie thought he looked more like an evil kitsune fox than a rat. For this reason she gave him the nickname "Kitsunezuka Ko'on-no-Kami" in order to avoid calling him by his name in Violet's presence. But to each his or her own. Seymore was the one who had radically accelerated Violet's overall cynicism; her distrust in people until she met Bunnie. Gods...what a blight for her to try so hard to forget. Anyway...with this ugly stain on an otherwise whimsicle vacation behind us, a different situation was upon us now. Preparing to say goodbye to Little Tokyo, Edoropia. From there it would be back to Fontraile. Back to Miranda. And back to work. And boy oh boy, did I have my work cut out for me figuring out how to restore each memory of each Monster of the Underground. I had a basic plan in place. One which would be unorthodox but would probably minimize the risk; especially when it came to recovering Sans' memories. The moment I did, I'd have a lot of complications drop on me. Not to mention the possibility of revenge for letting Chara escape. But that was for when I actually got to that bridge. Right now, someone else was a bigger priority. For this to work, the "game" would have to be paused again...but this time in a different methoid. I'd clarify in my lab notes down the road. For now. One step at a time. "You know...this place was starting to grow on me." Marcel said offhandedly. "Really?" Vi asked. "No." Marcel brought the curtain down on the moment. "Got me again." Vi shrugged it off with a silly grin. A visit back to the palace after we had everything squared away. A round of good-byes. (And in some cases good riddence. But we'd be seeing Big Al Dente again before long. Whether a matter of days, weeks, or months. He'd be tornmenting us again. Violet's staff had all our gear shipped to the Solaris unbelievably quick. Of course Violet made sure we had plenty of souvenirs to take home...whether we wanted them or not. And lastly, we got my 57' Chevy and Azzy's car aboard. "It was really fun around here, brother. Can we come back again some day?" Gadget looked at me with spritely eyes. "Sure." The pride I swallowed hurt going down. But it would hurt a lot more letting my sister down. Cid held his tongue. But the fact that he wasn't complaing was a good sign. Ivy crossed paths with us before heading back to Miranda with Lagunov, Vidian, and Lulu; taking their own way back on a flight. We took one last look at the city behind us and borded the Solaris. Sub-Entry 140: "Once Again Violet Has to Have the Last Song and Dance": "..I can't believe vacation is actually over." "Yeah. Me too, Goat Son. Me too." "It's just as well. I've got school and training and such to do. I know it must sound weird coming from a teenager, but...I've got a future to think of." "And it must sound weird coming from a responsible adult, but...slow your roll, Azzy. You'll have plenty of years ahead for all that to fall into place. It'll take some work and studying and preparation and a lot of growing into things as they come...but don't forget to balance your life with the good stuff. Like the last two weeks we spent together as one big, crazy family." "Listen to you go. All relaxed and everything." "Yeah...yeah, I guess I am." A bro-fist shared as we laid back in our lawn chairs on the deck of the Solaris. By now the boat was barely recognizable as the gold ship we sailed out of Miranda Harbor. It was like Mr. T commissioned a fully working version of Decepticon Mirage from Transformers: Cybertron. Okay maybe not THAT advanced (and decked out in weapons an armor, obviously)...but wow. If this thing was Lemurinopian in origin, they were super-geniuses at what they did. Either that or Dr. Lynx was telling us only a fraction of the story of what all she did with it. Or maybe a bit of both. Nevertheless. Things were finally going to get back to normal. But the downside meant, I had to start cleaning up the mess in the Underground. I had a lot of worries to take back off the shelf. And somewhere out there, my enemies were conspiring. Somewhere out there, there was a jerk o a murderchild who vowed revenge. I had my theories on what must've gone on in all that time. And honestly, it gave me the creeps thinking what Chara was in for. And what kind of deal they would have to make to get another chance. Speaking of Chara...I had to talk to the other Chara. The previous Chara, currently in the Soul Society. She had to know the truth. As my thoughts swirled, my energy gave out and I let the warm sun accelerate the process of drifting off to dream land. It had been so long since the nightmares of five years ago. Since then...I hadn't really had any dreams. If Asriel had any dreams of his own, he didn't tell me about them. By now I knew he wouldn't keep secrets like that; despite the fact that I was holding back a mountain of secrets from him. How many more years would it be until he was ready? I was projecting at least another two or three; he'd be a legal adult. Possibly another five. At the age of 21, he'd be his own man. I'd kept the secret for five, going on six years. Another five wouldn't be that difficult...would it? And therein was my weakness. Worry. Overthinking. Too reluctant to take chances. Always expecting the worst case scenario while hoping for the best possible one. In addition...going in on the assumption that my opponents were more powerful than me and always on their A-game or greater. Asriel didn't have that problem at all. His confidence let him do what had to be done. If he made a mistake, he learned from it. It was that instictive balance of knowing when the risk was justified or too great that I envied. That ability to know that in his gut and act upon it, with all that he had learned to reenforce it and constantly improve. Far faster than me. When he made mistakes, he'd learn from them. Maybe it was just a matter of the grass seeming greener on the other side of the fence. I wonder what he was thinking about me? I wonder what it was about me, he may envy? Was it self-indulgient to ask this question? But I suppose it was only a matter of time before my train of thought and my lucid brainstorming session came to a screeching halt. In hind sight..I should have expected it from her. "No. No. No no no nonononononon--!" "Yes! Yes! Yes yes yes yesyesyesyes!" Violet grinned widely as I awoke at her and the others tuning up their instruments and preparing for one finally impromptu music video life stream before we reached home. "Violet, I will never forgive you for this!" Then I saw Asriel with her, as well as Gadget, and many of the others. Bunnie patted my shoulder with a look that I could tell was the expression of one containing her rage with every fiber of her being. "We suffer together, Commander." "At least I have that much..." I groaned as Violet commensed to her satirical abomination. Most everyone had donned loud, obnoxious attire from the 70's. Loud, obnoxious disco attire that mirrored Jon Travolta and company right out of Saturday Night Fever. But none louder than Violet's liesure suit with open-toed platform shoes. And low and behold for that one period of time, Disco lived again. "You can tell by my custom rig, I'm a number-cruncher versed in calc and trig. Bandwidth high and CPU core running cold, been coding since I was 4-years-old! Now it's all right, it's okay! You'll be golden as long as you play the right way! Please try to understand. Obey my rules or get banned. Rage-quit and cry to your mother, it won't work one way or another while I'm Stayin' online! Stayin' online! When your stream is buffering, your game is suffering, but I'm Stayin' online! Stayin online! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' online! Stayin' online! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' onliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! You can't run and you can't hide I'm headshot-ing n00bz with a lot of pride. My latest app is in the news My latest walkthrough's got a billion views. Now it's all right, it's okay! The updates have been installed today! Don't try to understand. Just take my word, it's really grand! Join my guild with your brother and invite another while I'm Stayin' online! Stayin' online! Rare drops I'm takin' and custom mods I'm makin' while I'm Stayin' online! Stayin online! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' online! Stayin' online! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' onliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! You're goin' nowhere when you challenge me. When you challenge me, yeah! You're goin' nowhere when you challenge me. When you challenge me, yeah! Well, you can tell this game my crew is down, doin' a raid and goin' to town! Runnin' 1080p on three screens, multitasking while I make that green! Now it's all right! It's okay! My T-3 Line makes sure I'm here to stay! You can try! But you've got no chance! I just unlocked the BFG, now let's see you dance! I'm super elite like no other! I got a ronin samurai for a lover! Y'know I'm Stayin' online! Stayin' online! C.o.D. and Smash, it's a multiplayer bash, while I'm Stayin' online! Stayin' online! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' online! Stayin' online! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' onliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! Don't you go there! Don't try to punk my friends! Don't punk me or my friends! Don't you go there! Don't try to punk my friends! You won't like how it ends! Stayin' onliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! Don't you go there! Don't try to punk my friends! Don't punk me or my friends Don't you go there! Don't try to punk my friends! We set the hottest trends! Stayin onliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!" "And this is how Madam Fate gets her revenge..." I whined as my ears drooped. She did it to us again. By that, I meant both Fate...and Violet. Back home we go...for better or worse. Right now...it felt like we got it worse than last time. It can only get better...right? Chapter 15 Back To Part 2 Back to Project Lost Dreemurr Next